The truth is I'm not always easy to live with (that really shocks you, I know, lol). Sometimes I have unreasonable expectations of people. If you've read The Five Love Languages, you will know what I mean when I say that I am a "words of affirmation" girl. That basically means that I like to talk about everything, my feelings, your feelings, life, the weather, the dog, the laundry, etc. EVERYTHING. And I want someone to talk to me about everything too. So I spent a lot of time trying to get Patrick to talk, talk, talk. I drove him almost nuts trying to get him to talk about his feelings and tell me how much he loves me. Guess what? He still didn't talk. Men in general, and my husband in particular, just don't talk about that kind of stuff. He is an "acts of service" guy.
I read a quote by someone (sorry can't remember who) that said, "Just because someone doesn't love you the way you think they should doesn't mean they don't love you with everything they have." WHOA! That was like a slap up side my face. Truly. It is not fair to expect people to love you the way you think they should. Patrick doesn't have to come home every night and profess his undying love for me so that I will know he loves me. So, I stopped bugging him about it.
I know Patrick loves me. He writes me a love note once a week or so. When he knows the girls and I need to take a picnic lunch somewhere, he often will get up 10 minutes earlier and surprise me by packing our lunch. Tonight he went to the store to get a few things on the way home from work, and he brought me my favorite pop-tarts (which I promptly hid from the girls, heehee). I have had a really stressful two weeks, and today it all came to a head (literally) and I had a pounding headache. I took some medicine and fell asleep on the couch. He made hamburgers for dinner, made sure the girls got their baths, did the dishes and a load of laundry. THAT is his way to show he loves me.
If that's not love I don't know what is. I'm not writing all this to brag. Just to remind you that if you feel unloved, maybe it's because you don't know what a particular person's love looks like. Maybe they are loving you the very best they know how. And recognizing and accepting that is a beautiful thing.
Did you know God is an "acts of service" guy? Sure He is! "But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8
I don't know about you, but I'll take that!
Peace,
Nakia
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